Parenting is HARD
My kids are 11 and 13. We had a patch of very smooth sailing for a while and I, stupidly, became accustomed to it. God always seems to give us a reprieve after a tough stretch. It’s just what a good Daddy does! We deal with stuff, make mistakes, learn lessons, grow and then we are rewarded with smooth waters, sunny days and Old Navy sales! The kids behave, the hubby doesn’t complain and the house says somewhat clean.
It’s usually just about the time that I settle into a comfort zone that something throws a wrench into the works. This time, I blame puberty. Hormones, mood swings, drama and all of those fun things that I recall putting my own mother through as a teenager. Granted, my daughter is only 11 but I can tell it’s almost “that time.”
We’re buying makeup, bras and even maxi pads (just to have them…just in case). We’ve discussed puberty, periods and procreation. All of those things that, as parents, we dread. It’s awkward and clinical and never easy to approach. We discuss all things with honesty and truth. My kids know that I was a slut, a burnout, an alcoholic, addicted to pills and more things about me than I care to mention here. We want them to know that we understand things and have been through things and aren’t as old as they think we are. My prayer and hope is that it will keep the lines of communication open as we travel through the teenage years.
Why I Suck as a Parent
I have a million (and one) excuses why I act the way I do. Illness, stress, lack of sleep, etc. But really, there is no excuse. I act the very way that I forbid my kids to act. I get mad, I reach my limit, I boil over and BOOM!!! I scream and yell and cuss and cry and throw things and have big huge, adult-sized hissy fits. It’s not pretty and I am not proud of it. But, I also apologize and promise to do better. I had been doing great…until this whole puberty thing happened. I can’t tolerate the roller coaster of emotions and the fact that my daughter acts JUST LIKE I DID!!!
Just yesterday, I lost it. Screaming, yelling, cussing, throwing things, etc. I cried, she cried, I sent her to bed, I sat here and sulked. It was plain ugly and there is no other way to describe it. By the time I cooled off and was ready to apologize, she was asleep. So, I just didn’t bother. I let it fester and keep me awake all night…literally…I am still awake and will soon wake the kids to start our morning routine.
Just a few minutes ago I went into my bedroom to get something and I noticed a note on my bedside table. It was from Emma. I read it, cried, cried some more…and am crying again just thinking about it. Now, I will pray about my mistakes and ask God to forgive me and then I will do the same with Emma. If you want to set an example…put on your big girl panties (or big boy undies) and apologize when you wrong your children. Being honest and real is the greatest thing we can do for them.